Smallville High Health Class One Shot
by AlaskaCannoli
Summary: Complete. One shot. Slightly Clois, but pokes fun at sex ed jokes with everyone. Smallville high tries to educate it's students with sex ed. And, it gets a bit awkward as always.


**Title/Link:** Smallville High Health Class (One Shot)  
**Pairing:** Clois, and brief hinting of other ships.  
**Rating:** PG-13. the word "sex" is used, but really. I didn't think it seemed R.  
**Warnings:** The word "sex" is used...  
**Short summary:** Smallville high tries to educate it's students with sex ed. And, it gets a bit awkward- as always.

Smallville High Health Class

Chloe Sullivan, the very own editor of The Torch; let her articles speak for her. Each, clearly personal and explanatory. If you read enough of her articles you would know Chloe Sullivan quite well. And, this gave her class a sense of knowledge. 

So they knew what she was thinking when her face formed into one of complete disgust.

But, Lois Lane was a bit harder to read. She kept to herself, embarrassed and ashamed of being a freshman in college, and being forced back into the last semester of Smallville High's senior year.

But, they could tell she was amused- she was laughing her ass off.

Clark Kent was afraid. Very.

Lana was clueless, staring at Lex's secret love text message.

And poor Pete- who knows? He was in Wichita.

The teacher blushed as she wrote down the horrid words on the board, "Health Class- sexual education."

"I'm sorry… so sorry, we really did mean to stop delaying this." She said to her class with remorse.

Clark raised his hand.

"Didn't we cover this already?"

"Yes, Mr. Kent. There was a brief introduction course when you all were all sophomores. And, it was post-tornado. Not as detailed as we may have liked."

Lois smirked brightly. This was abso-fcking-lutely hilarious! She noticed all the seniors squirm and some shrug it off. Kansas, Kansas, Kansas! 

Clark blushed deeply. Why weren't they split up into groups of boys and girls, or something? It just happened his girl best friend, and best girlfriend were here- and Lois. Oh god, Lois! He turned to see her give him a smug wave. He blushed deeper.

'Some things you leave to you, and your flannel pillow…' he thought to himself.

"Besides, some of you weren't here for this." The teacher said with a direct glare at Lois.

'Glare at me again, and I'll poison the apple someone brought you!' Lois thought.

The teacher sat down on her desk and gave the class a smile. She folded her arms, and looked to Chloe.

"Name one thing that can happen from unsafe sex, Ms. Sullivan."

'WHAT? WHY ME!' Chloe glared at her teacher, wondering if she was 'implying' certain something about herself.

"Aids…" 

"Okay good, Lana Lang?"

"Pregnancy?" Lana said, as she hid her cell phone before Clark could see what Lex had text messaged her.

"And what can prevent that?"

"Um… birth control pills? The usage of… of… condemns?"

Clark flushed, as he saw her staring at him. Could things get any more awkward? Besides, the closest thing he's ever had to uh- you know- was with Alicia Baker in a hotel sweet in Vegas. Kal didn't think of birth control, or condemns.

"Good." The teacher rewarded, Lois rolled her eyes. If this didn't get funny, and fast, she was going to be forced to fall asleep.

"Do you all use these things?" the teacher asked.

Lois quickly smirked, 'That. Is. Funny!' she thought to herself. The class let out moans and groans of annoyance.

"Use protection!" the teacher said with a laugh at their discomfort.

"But, another way of preventing that- is just to NOT have sex."

"A bit obvious…" one boy pointed out.

"Yes, Josh, exactly." The teacher replied.

Clark wondered if he could even have sex. Why couldn't he take "Alien Sex Ed"? How useful would that be!

"And you guys know the terminology I hope?" the teacher asked.

"Better then you do…" Lois muttered to Chloe. Chloe instantly smiled.

"It's best to wait when you're in love!"

Lana gave a nervous smile to Clark. He smiled back. Lois rolled her eyes.

'Really, Kent? How do you know she's not just trying to get into your flannel knickers?' she thought to herself.

'Who wouldn't try? Whoa- where did that come from?' the next thought shocked herself to death.

Chloe looked from Lois- to Clark- to Lana. How much did they know? How much did she need to know? How much did she know and they didn't know? 

She knew Lana was a virgin. And Clark- Clark would never tell her anything of that sort. Lois wasn't, as she once told her. Not like there's anything wrong with that- she herself wasn't a virgin. Part of that credit can go to Jimmy Olsen. She wondered if they'd ever meet again. That'd be fun. He was sweet.

Clark looked at his class, noticing some of the girls had their eyes glued to him. It made him squirm. What were they going to do to him? One whispered to another as they both stared at him. As though, he was the food- right after the fasting. Oh boy.

"Now let's play a game of partners. In this. There will be a boy and a girl. They must say what's on the card, and find a reason to say no."

The teacher fumbled through the list.

"Ah, okay. Lois Lane!" she said, knowing fully well the extent of her torture.

Lois got up, and the class let out jokes and laughter.

"And… Joey Harper."

"You're kidding me…" Lois mumbled, remembering how Joey slipped that pervish letter into her locker. She dreaded this.

The teacher slipped Lois a note.

Lois read it and flinched.

"Why can't we just do what other couples do? It's normal." She said in monotone.

Chloe, Lana, and the rest of the class laughed. Clark glared slit-eyed at Joey.

"Hell yeah!" he replied with a giant smirk.

The boys cheered.

"Joey! To save myself sanity, sit your ass down!" said the teacher.

Joey shrugged, gave Lois a wink, and sat down.

"Clark Kent."

Clark immediately turned Crimson. Chloe and Lana glared at Lois, and the class (mostly female) clapped or glared at Lois some more.

"She got the hot football player!" a girl yelled out.

Lois and Clark shared a 'this can't be happening' look. The teacher smiled and handed the note to Clark this time. He freezed as he looked at the words and his jaw dropped.

"I… I lo-love… you… and-" he blushed ferociously and his hands shook, "have… sex…" 

"Oh- um…" Lois replied, nervously. They both froze. 

"Come on," the teacher urged, "pretend you're dating… and you're in love."

Chloe and Lana watched intently, both shocked.

"I… love you too," Lois started with her own redden face, "but… I'm not ready."

"Why not?" Clark asked.

"I'm waiting for a special time. I just hope you can understand that."

"Okay. I understand Lois, and I won't love you any less."

The teacher smiled.

Clark and Lois shared a secret smile, and seemed to rather enjoy this, and it's natural exchange.

"And next class… we can talk about pregnancy."

ACK!

The End. ENJOY!


End file.
